He'd had a long, good run, and he regretted nothing. What was there to regret? He'd had a great lot of fun so far, and to be honest, he saw no reason it wouldn't continue into his golden years. But he'd finally reached elderhood, which comes to everyone sooner or later (if satellites or other accidents don't happen first).
His fiance made him get rid of the face tattoo once his hair went gray. He humored her. After all, he'd managed to not marry her or give her any kids all these years, and now she had nothing to show for it; why not accede to her request to remove the tattoo, get rid of the wild clothes, and appear to age gracefully? She certainly had managed. She was a fine-lookin' woman, even with white hair.
But now it was time to bring Zel back home and let him know the lay of the land.
~ ~ ~
Zel hadn't expected his dad to call him one night and invite him back to the family home on a permanent basis. "But Dad, I just got this roommate, because of the rent, and I don't think it'd be fair to just drop this on him."
"Fine, fine, bring him along too. He's gotta take out the trash and clean the commode, got it?"
Despite that, it was good to see Dad again. Sometimes it was awkward being the son of the town manho, but Dad had always treated him decently, and left Zel to live his own life. So Zel didn't mind moving home at all.
Things went well for the first few days as Zel adjusted to his dad's perpetual fiance now being an older woman - it was an awkward reminder of all the years he'd been single, actually, and he still was single - and everyone got used to Buck Grunt living in the house. There were enough beds, certainly - Dad and his fiance shared one, and Zel and Guy had each had a bed, and for some reason there was an extra twin bed besides that one. Zel had never wondered about it before.
At any rate, the house had plenty of room, and so everyone had their space, their privacy, when they needed it, usually coming together for meals.
A few days later, while Buck was happily investigating the library and Dad's fiance was out shopping, Dad invited Zel into the hot tub for a talk. "It's more comfortable this way now that I'm old. Damn Swedish ergonomic chairs the near-missus likes - "
"Okay, so, what's up, Dad?"
"What's up is that I've got something important to tell you. Now, as you know, I haven't worked in years."
"Yeah, that's true. I figured you were - "
"Pipe down and let me tell my story. I'm an old man and your father and you'll want to hear this."
Zel grumbled, but acquiesced.
"Now then - ah, cripes, this jet's poking me right in the back, let me move over - there, that's better. Anyway. The thing is, I haven't had to work, and neither has the little woman, because we've got a stockpile. It's a buttload of money, son, and when I die, it's all passing on to you."
"What - you mean, you're actually rich?"
"Damn straight. And it's all mine. And like I said, it'll be yours..."
Zel paused to think about that. "Rich" in the Outskirts was somewhat relative, but it would explain a lot.
"...provided you get yourself an heir of your own, of course."
"Dad." Zel decided to ignore that last statement for just a moment. "Where'd you get the money?"
"It was, what, thirty years ago? How old are you now, gotta be pushing forty, aren't you? You look good for forty. 'Course, I looked good 'til I was sixty. Anyway. It was a long time ago, after your mother died, God rest her soul. I came across this guy from some hick town, and he had a ton of money, big house, hot wife, the works. What he didn't have was brains. He'd inherited the lot of it. Well, he wanted to invest it, so I helped him invest it in something valuable: You and me. If he didn't read the paperwork fully, hey, not my problem, you know?
"So in the end I got most of his cash and he got a harsh lesson in the real world. And we've been riding high ever since. You were too young to remember, I think."
"Dad!" Zel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean you robbed someone? You stole their money?"
"You say it like that's a bad thing!" Dad snapped back. "A fool and his money, Zel! It's one of nature's laws for those things to separate!"
"But listen here, Zel. That money paid for you and your schooling and your college. It paid for this house. It paid for your dirt-poor school friend Guy and his mom to live with us instead - although both of us got some benefits out of the deal, as I recall." He waggled his eyebrows.
Zel flushed. Okay, so he'd sort of crushed on Guy, and they'd had an experimental makeout session once, but that was it, unlike his dad and Guy's mom. And he hadn't been aware Dad had known about him and Guy. Probably the old (then younger) pervert had spied on them. "Dad, the end doesn't justify the means. I could've gone to college without someone else's stolen money paying for it."
"Sure, and maybe Guy would've made it too. It's water under the bridge. Now let's get back to the more important part of this - "
"Will you at least tell me who you stole it from?"
"It doesn't matter. The guy and his wife died years ago. Supposedly they had a kid, but nobody's ever come forth on it, and I'm not telling you their name and having you go search and be a goody-two-shoes and hand the money back. You'll take the money honestly and like it."
Zel wasn't happy about that, but maybe he could try to find something out...
"Now then. I figured you might get all twitchy about this, so I'm going to tell you right now, you're the only one named in the will. Unless." Dad held up his index finger. "Unless you stop screwing around and get yourself an heir of your own. Your roommate, is he a fuck-buddy?"
"No! I only just met him when you invited me to move back home!"
"Good. Are you still gay?"
"Dad! I'm not 'still gay'!" If pressed, Zel wasn't sure how he'd describe himself, so he hoped his dad wouldn't go farther.
"Son, I don't give a rat's ass who you play with, except that it's a damn sight harder for a gay man to get himself a blood heir, which is what I'm interested in. I admit that you look more like your mother - you've got her hair and eyes - but you're still my son, and I want some kind of grandchild before I give up the ghost. You got that?"
"Nice talk. When did you decide to become a family man? Last I knew, you were sleeping your way through the entire town - and a fine reputation you have for me to live down, I might add. Not to mention Mom's memory."
"Son, there's love and then there's woohoo. I still treasure your mother's love and memory deeply, but a man has needs. Besides, I've been careful. I didn't want to split the wealth between kids, which is why you're an only child to this day. Why do you think I never let Guy's mom have that kid she wanted so bad? 'Cause this way it all goes to you, Zel. All of it."
"So here's the deal. I want the same thing from you. Get yourself a kid. Not some unwanted orphan dumped on the social worker. Get yourself a genetically verifiable kid. A son would be great, but I can live with a daughter. I don't care if you marry the mother or not. If your taste runs to your - cough - roommate, I understand there's those magic rocks that'll allow you two to make your own little freaky kid. It worked for Guy, after all - for a while I kept hearin' all the crying from his mom about how he was crappin' out babies with his husband. You'd think she'd've been happy to get grandkids, but women, huh?
"Hell, if you can get yourself knocked up by aliens, I can live with a little green grandson or granddaughter. Just get yourself an heir. Ideally just one so you don't have to deal with the whole splitting-the-inheritance issue either."
Zel stared, stunned, at his father. "This is why you invited me home?" he finally managed.
"Yep!" His dad grinned. "Quite a bomb to drop on you, I know, but now you see why it had to be done. Don't let our line die out, Zel. Oh, 'cause if you don't produce an heir by the time I croak, the whole moneypile gets turned into prize money for eating contests. Or maybe wet T-shirt contests if I change my mind before then. Or even someone's pet fish. Got it?" He smiled pleasantly at his son.
"Got it, Dad," Zel said weakly, and wondered how in hell he was going to fix this problem.
~ ~ ~
Author's note: Some of you might be wondering how on earth the Manho ever achieved woohoo with multiple sims with this kind of attitude. The answer is, he didn't use this attitude. (It's been a while, but you might remember he was more smooth-talkin' with Whirly and at Doc and Nexxia's wedding.) At this point in his life, he's a mostly satisfied old man who doesn't have to answer to anyone. Also, he's not trying to seduce someone here (hey, Zel's his son, and the manho's not that pervy). He's talking frankly with his adult son. If the manho were trying to seduce someone (Buck, or his fiance, or Skye, or some college kid...) then he'd use a much different behavior and speech set.