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Bad writing of the morning

Story character: "The only way to get [villain] to leave you alone is this. Take this pill."

Other character: "What will it do?"

Story character: "Don't worry, it's not fatal. It'll just stop your pulse for a while."

Me: Uh, that's one of the definitions of fatal.

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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
sammyfrog
Mar. 2nd, 2018 06:31 pm (UTC)
No brain damage, though! Magic, this pill!

One of the dumbest things I've ever come across was in a YA paranormal novel, of course. The co-authors, who shall go nameless, swore that the way to get a werewolf off your trail is to change your shampoo, deodorant, or cologne/perfume.

....

So, humans have no naturally occurring odors, then? Clearly the authors have never heard of this little thing called scent layering. Writing a novel? Don't bother to research. *sigh*
laridian
Mar. 5th, 2018 03:02 pm (UTC)
ikr?? Hollywood has taught so many bad writing tips.

But the story got better! Sorta! :P So they take their drugged "fake dead" guy and one of the women slips the ambulance medic (just one guy!) some cash to look the other way while they took the body bag away afterwards!

AND THEN!

Drugged Fake Dead Guy is still out like a light (presumably for hours; I think it's safe to say HE DED BOSS). Now, OBVIOUSLY he can't be seen in town where Villain can see him, right? So what do we do?

...Let's nail him into a box and ship it to the next state! Yes! While he's unconscious! Boy, won't that be quite a surprise when he wakes up!

They included 2 bottles of water and some whole fish (!!!!) so he'd have sustenance on his journey. And AFTER nailing the whole thing shut... drilled air holes in the box!

At this point I have to assume this is all a farce and intentional, but you never know...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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