Laridian (laridian) wrote,

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NaNoWriMo angst

Well, here it is, Day 19 of Nanowrimo, and it's not quite time to start writing (kids don't go for naps for another 90 min) but since I woke up, I haven't felt like writing.

I think I'm in the burnout/bored stage. I've been working on this for 18 days straight, cranking out the goal every day and usually more. It only takes a couple hours a day, but I'm running out of time, so to speak, because my kids are starting to wake up earlier. That means I have to get to bed earlier so I can be functional during the day. That means I have less time at night to decompress and get everything else done that I want to do, including plan the next day's writing. (Yeah, yeah, I know, whine whine, get over it already)

The thing is, I want to write just about anything except Suzerain. CoH? Sure! Androsynth? Please! Monkey Island, which I've never tried before? Heck-Y-NOT! Fandoms I have no clue about? I'll take a stab at 'em!

It isn't because I don't know what to write for Suzerain - I still know where I want to go. But I really don't feel like writing it, at least for a day or so. I know, I've got a day's buffer in there, why not use that and give myself a day off? Maybe recharge a bit? Because next week is the trip, and there will likely be at least one day wherein I don't get any writing done.

On the other hand, maybe not getting writing done during the trip would be a good thing.

When I wrote Sands of Ice, I got occasional days off. When I write Androfics, I write one every other day or thereabouts, normally. But Suzerain is becoming the grind instead of the joy, if I can use bad grammar here. I can tell I'm starting to repeat myself in my text patterns, which I don't think is a good sign - it means I'm just filling space. Yeah, I know, it'll get fixed during rewrite, but I hate to think I'm just spewing out words to make wordcount, instead of (as I should be doing) writing to genuinely get my meaning across.

This, btw, is what I think the "Am I a hack?" thing was about a couple days ago - I think it was the start of the burnout coming on.

So I don't know what to do. I'll probably still give it a go come naptime, see what I can do. But I haven't thought about it at all since I stopped typing yesterday. Instead, my brain's been active with CoH stuff, as though it too really doesn't want to get involved with Suzerain right now.

I still do want to finish it. I don't hate Suzerain, far from it. But I might need to back off a bit, or something. Now I can understand why Nano has so few "winners" (though I know the term is incorrect) - they hit the wall. And I've hit mine, it seems.

If you've read this far, you get a cookie. ^_^ If anyone has any suggestions on what to do, I'm all ears. Right now, it looks like I might follow the advice I gave mimerki about her NaNoWriMo: if it's not fun to write, don't write, because it'll show.
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